virgin eyes!

are you discovering your homosexuality, is that what the goodbye note is about?

Sat, 25 May 2013 12:07:42 +0000

Nope.

This blog has a well-defined concept, which is explained throughout the poems I publish - not individually, but collectively. I do intend to keep working on the “virgin eyes” concept and, one day, Oh, please may I be lucky, publish a well structured piece. However, I have found that there is still too much to learn about art, philosophy, love, life and me. I can’t keep sharing work I don’t consider valid.

I have received messages from friends and unexpected readers, asking me not to stop sharing and, most importantly, writing. Yes, I did intend to stop sharing, but never to stop writing. I am taking my future texts to a different universe. I have been considering the possibility of starting another blog, free of restrictive concepts, on another network. I didn’t enjoy my experience on Tumblr. I don’t think Tumblr enjoyed me.

I have fallen asleep in a constant artistic emptiness. There are too many worries right now and I am not able to dedicate myself to this activity. If I do create another blog, I will post the URL.

As for my sexuality, I am very comfortable with it. I “came out” very young and grew up - have been growing up - very unconflicted.

Thank you for asking,
Rodrigo.

Deleting my blog

Sun, 12 May 2013 19:13:00 +0000

I haven’t found what I was looking for.
Instead, I discovered another truth. And it leads me to think I won’t ever find what I am looking for here. This is because I am not ready for it, and when I am, it will meet me elsewhere.

I want to document in paper some of the texts I have published here, so until that’s done the blog will be up.

Also, I would like to thank a few not-self-entitled-artists who have inspired and taught me a lot of things about myself. Thanks

Rodrigo,
Ver.

jlawrence: tense.

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:29:56 +0000

jlawrence:

tense.

your heart's a legend

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:45:20 +0000

your soul is its story

FICTION III (black coffee): Crimson X: Molt X

Sat, 04 May 2013 23:16:00 +0000

When I saw
Your blood rising manhood
And fast blushing lip biting expression,
Your breathing stomach
And your towered arms on my waist;
When I saw
Your pale soft hairless skin
Next to my exotic haired rougher skin
And all of your corners,
When you taught me the location
Of your every time burning scar,
When I noticed how much warmer you were
And laughed at the care you have for your toe nails,
When I kissed your coffee seasoned lips
And savoured the arts of your tongue,

What I saw
Was the temperature of the room
And the light coming through the window,
It was the sound of the city outside
Our little nest
And the weight of your breath
When I’d let your rest.
It was the pain and happiness of the same life we lead
And shared on that bed,
It was the glue that kept our lives apart
And the red light you put beside us,
The only thing that shone in all that dark.
It was the morning ticket to the late night ride
And the dish I improvised like I always improvise.

But, of all that I saw,
There’s one thing that persists.
It’s the thought of abrupt fall
And sudden flight over hills
Of all the continents.

It was how I didn’t love you
And you were what I know
Will be one of the greatest
Loves of my life.
It was how I didn’t need you
Yet I craved for you with
A freeze induced
Burning chest.

It was how you made me see that
We were nothing. But life was everything.
I could be anything.

Ver

fat talk

Sat, 04 May 2013 22:40:00 +0000

sometimes i dress like i dont care for opinions
like im a rebel and a real masculine kinda gay dude
and sometimes i take the time to dress properly
and feel like a french-chic or a cute gay nerd
or maybe not even gay at all
sometimes i dress like not even gay at all
one day each thing, whatever i feel like
and everytime i change styles people go
“hey wow you’re different”
i’m not.
can’t recall a moment when i cared for your mind
and i have always been kinda masculine. i just don’t like soccer.
i live by the french-chic ways and
i’ll always be a sucker for science.
all of this doesn’t happen
i was born with it and it will persist confusing you for eternity.
it’s not like i can’t define myself
or put myself in a box
shit, it’s just that my personality is SO FAT i’d need to chop it to pieces and use tons of boxes. it’s just too much work man
so yes
i am a lot of things
and so are you. yes so are you
and you will realise it once you actually bother to measure your weight

(“pisses”. oh god.)

rosalarian: nerdaliztix: What’s the point if a wrong answer...

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:38:17 +0000

rosalarian:

nerdaliztix:

What’s the point if a wrong answer blocks you from returning to the right question?

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Thu, 02 May 2013 22:49:36 +0000

may silence be the wordless glory of unexpected fortunate and unfortunate events that happen in the everyday life of a man who sees what there isn’t to see and ignores everything he shouldn’t. may this rainy numb night be the curse of our undeniable fate, our necessary bloom of the coloured riot of spring scents. i’m crying out loud by telling no stories of not unseen me.

justfannyaround: boook-worm: volcanize: This Explains...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 13:05:03 +0000

justfannyaround:

boook-worm:

volcanize:

This Explains Everything

I’m really proud of this one guys

This is beautiful.

bravo

homethey say its where someone is missing youbut how do i differentiate the waves crashingand the...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 03:06:00 +0000

home
they say its where someone is missing you
but how do i differentiate the waves crashing
and the wind blowing through the leaves
and grass keeping trot to the horses
or the kingfishers smoothly striking underwater?
how do i know which one misses me most?
the wolves’ howls every moon?
the birds’ sonnets every spring morning?
the skies’ cries during the winter storms?
where is it?
and how do i know, if i know they all miss me,
for i am every same bit of reality as them
and without me
without them
the puzzle is incomplete?

where is home?

Photo

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 02:59:56 +0000

FICTION II (black coffee)

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 21:30:00 +0000

i feel you beside me
a vision through the mirror
reflecting of past and
made up futures.

i refuse to gasp
but your lips still touched my neck
and your beard still tickled
my sensitive skin
rough to your sensitive skin.

and in the universe of what never happened
i see a dead world before us
and a dying you to the coming years
fiction, when we’d be far from arms
still reciting your every scar
and kissing our charming scent.

Photo

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 17:09:56 +0000

old

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 14:12:00 +0000

The world is so big and I am so small;
Nature is so complex, yet I, so simple;
Time is so slow, but I will die in a minute.

And, so many times, throughout the years I spend years wondering what it’ll be like in five. What have I done? What have I said? What have I seen?
And, always, who will be in my bed? Always the expecting not to be alone, throughout the years spending years not ever being by myself, at least in my mind.

And always doing some things while doing nothing,
Always saying some words while not talking,
Always seeing the world while not looking.
All to, then, realize: ”Five years ago wasn’t true,
Just as minute as me and as drifty as the Blue.
I was stuck but I was moving, I was shut but I was shouting.
I am where I was, but I am who I wasn’t.”

And, like that, I grow. Tall. Fat. Bald.
Until one day, when five years is just as minute as me.

Ver

Photo

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 20:38:05 +0000

atroubledlittlegirl: 360 degrees.

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:14:53 +0000

atroubledlittlegirl:

360 degrees.

dearest stranger, I don’t know anything about the future....

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 17:52:00 +0000

dearest stranger,

I don’t know anything about the future. It is something that has ignored all the sleepless stormy nights I have spent on it. Can’t actually think any further than the rain hitting my bedroom window with spooky hallowed strength. I can’t distract myself from the sound of the unsettling wind, whistling death lullabies inside my brain. I can’t help but to feel the thunder striking on me, but to feel electric.
I can’t help but to pour wine, but to weep heavily with an open mouth, honey, a burning “O”, and feel my lips kissing the burning desire. Honey, I feel the tongue of the storm possessing me and savouring my skin. I shiver for every inch of wet me.
I can’t help but to gasp to the gasping; but to rave to the raving; but to die to the dying of the restless night.

Stranger dear, this is the only future I can hear, calling me in every breath of fresh wintry breeze.

Rodrigo

Photo

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 16:33:34 +0000

FICTION I (étranger)

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 09:51:00 +0000

stranger who i haven’t met,
dearest who i haven’t felt,
shadow of the twilight
and mist of the dawn
who i haven’t kissed,

my lips seem to be growing affection
to the incredibly poisonous wine
of wandering through you with no direction
and in the eternity of your eyes die

you’re a knife that stabs my heart
if ever i wake up alone
you’re a fire that burns my heart
if ever my sleep is gone

stranger who i haven’t met,
dearest who i haven’t felt,
river of the valley
and trees of the forest
who i haven’t lived,

die in me the ashes of the time
through the years we’ve been burning
until our branches intertwine
and days will pass very slowly

we’re the dust that blinds the vision
of those who only dance alone
and this is a mere story of fiction
for those whose lives are gone

Ver

essentia-vitae: I’m sick (A.C.)

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 09:20:54 +0000

essentia-vitae:

I’m sick (A.C.)